Conflict Resolution & Repair: Effective Relationship Tools from an Akron Therapist

Dr. Michael Gamble
Jun 1
6 min read

Updated: Jun 2

Two people sit on a gray sofa, leaning forward. The mood is tense. One holds hands together; the other covers their face. Bright daylight.

Hi there! I’m Danaé Behr, MFT-T, a Marriage and Family Therapist in Akron, OH, and I specialize in helping couples heal and reconnect through couples counseling. So many couples come to therapy feeling stuck in repetitive cycles of conflict and disconnection. They want to find a way back to feeling safe, seen, and supported. In couples counseling, I focus on helping partners move beyond old patterns and strengthen their bond.

Today, I want to share some practical interventions and insights that you can use in your relationship to build trust, reduce conflict, and deepen your connection.

Create Emotional Safety & Share Vulnerable Feelings

At the heart of every healthy relationship is a sense of safety, knowing you can share your feelings without fear of judgment or rejection. Emotional safety grows when both partners practice listening with openness and sharing with honesty.

Man and woman sitting on sofa, having a serious conversation. Woman holds a mug, wearing camo pants. Bright, modern living room.

Creating this environment starts with small steps:

Set the tone by using softer, calmer voices.
Be curious, not critical. Replace blame with questions like, “Can you help me understand what’s going on for you?”
Validate your partner’s feelings. Even if you don’t fully agree, acknowledge their experience.

When you feel safe to be honest, it opens the door for deeper understanding and closeness.

Body Awareness / Mindfulness Check-ins

Our bodies often signal tension long before our minds catch up. Learning to notice those early signals can help you pause and respond more thoughtfully, rather than reacting automatically.

Woman in beige shirt sits on bed looking upset; man in white shirt sits behind, clapping. Soft, warm bedroom lighting. Mood is tense.

Try this:

Pause and scan your body. Notice tightness in your chest, a clenched jaw, or a racing heart.
Breathe slowly and deeply. Even a few slow breaths can calm your nervous system.
Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” Bringing awareness to your feelings can help you share them more calmly.

Check in with your body regularly, not just in heated moments. This practice helps you stay more grounded and present with your partner.

Cycle De-escalation for Conflict Resolution

Every couple has patterns, such as getting stuck in arguments or shutting down when things get tense. These cycles can leave you feeling distant and misunderstood.

Man in denim shirt sitting with head in hands, looking distressed. Woman in the background watching him, seated on a couch. Soft focus.

The first step is noticing the pattern together:

Who tends to withdraw? Who tends to pursue?
What feelings come up right before things escalate?

Once you see the pattern, you can both work to slow things down, or stop the cycle in its tracks by making a change.

Instead of jumping into defense mode, try saying:

“I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. Can we slow this down?”
“I want to understand you better, but I’m feeling defensive right now.”

This kind of awareness helps you step out of the cycle and find more calm, caring ways to respond.

Co-create a Conflict “Time-out” Strategy

Sometimes, even with the best intentions, conversations get heated. That’s when it can be helpful to have a plan in place for taking a break.

Man reading documents at a table, while a woman lounges on a couch using a phone. Warm interior, archway and plants visible.

A conflict time-out might look like this:

Agree on a signal like saying, “I need a break,” to let your partner know you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Step away for 30–60 minutes. Use this time to calm your body, do something soothing, or get some fresh air.
Promise to come back—let your partner know when you’ll return to the conversation.

It’s important to check in with your body and emotions before you reach a breaking point—before anger, stonewalling, or shutting down. This way, you’re better able to return to the conversation with more calm and understanding.

When you come back together, focus on repair. Repairing after conflict is what strengthens your bond and keeps you feeling like you’re on the same team.

Acknowledge Each Other’s Pain & Respond to Emotional Needs

One of the most healing things you can do to aid in conflict resolution is to see and respond to each other’s pain. This isn’t about fixing or solving problems, but about being present with each other’s feelings.

A man comforts a woman sitting on a couch, looking concerned. They're in a modern kitchen with wooden cabinets and gray countertops.

Ways to practice this:

Listen to understand, not to debate.
Offer comfort, not solutions. For example, “I’m here with you,” or “That sounds so hard.”
Notice what your partner needs—maybe it’s a hug, maybe it’s space.

When you can meet each other’s emotional needs, especially in hard moments, you create a stronger bond built on empathy and care.

Repair After Conflict

Even when arguments are handled with care, they can leave lingering feelings of hurt or disconnection. Repairing after conflict is an essential step that helps restore trust and emotional closeness. No one gets it right all the time—and that’s not the goal. What matters most is a relationship’s ability to repair after an argument. When couples can come back together, take responsibility, and reconnect, it shows emotional maturity and a strong foundation of trust.

Elderly couple sitting on a bed in a bright room, woman in pink robe with hand on man's shoulder, conveying a caring mood. White bedding.

Showing your partner that you are not perfect, but care enough about them to admit when you could have done better, speaks volumes more than pretending we didn't, in some way, contribute to the conflict.

Why It Matters: Repair helps both partners feel safe and secure again. It says, “We can weather the hard stuff and come out stronger.” Without it, even small arguments can pile up and create emotional distance.

What Repair Looks Like:

Check in with each other after the conflict: “Are we okay? Is there anything else you need to feel at peace with this?”

Own your part if you said or did something hurtful: “I’m sorry for raising my voice earlier. I know that wasn’t helpful.”

Validate feelings: “I understand why you felt hurt. Your feelings matter to me.”

Reaffirm your bond: “I care about you and want to work through this together.”

Concrete Things to Do:

✅ Offer a gesture of care—a hug, a kind word, or a small act of service.

✅ Use soothing touch if it feels welcome, like a hand on the back or holding hands.

✅ Spend time together doing something relaxing—take a walk, watch a show, or share a meal.

✅ Express appreciation: “I appreciate how you stayed engaged in our talk, even when it was tough.”

✅ Take a moment for humor if it feels natural—laughter can be a powerful repair tool!

Key to Remember: Repair isn’t about pretending the conflict didn’t happen. It’s about acknowledging what went wrong, caring for each other’s wounds, and moving forward together with more understanding.

Create Rituals of Connection

Connection doesn’t just happen, it grows through small, consistent moments of care. Rituals help keep you close, even when life gets busy or stressful.

A joyful couple dances in a rustic kitchen with brick walls, surrounded by vegetables and cooking tools, exuding fun and happiness.

Some ideas:

Share a daily check-in, even just 10-20 minutes without distractions to ask, “How are you feeling today?” "Tell me about your day."
Create weekly rituals—like a coffee date, a walk, or cooking dinner together.
End each day with a few words of appreciation or a simple gesture of love.

Look for the little ways you can stay connected throughout the day. These small rituals build a foundation of security and warmth that supports you both during hard times.

Appreciation and Gratitude Exercises / Reaffirm Your Bond

It’s easy to get caught up in what’s not working, but remembering what you value in each other can bring warmth back into your relationship.

A smiling couple in a bright room. The woman looks at the man as he gently touches her hair. Both wear casual white shirts.

Try:

Daily gratitude sharing. Take a moment to tell each other one thing you appreciated about them that day.
Write it down. Leave small notes or send texts to remind your partner what they mean to you.
Say it out loud. “I love how you always make me laugh.” “I’m grateful for how patient you were with me today.”

These moments of appreciation reinforce your bond and remind you both why you chose each other.

Finding Your Way Forward

Communicating and connecting in these ways isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. All relationships face challenges from time to time.

A couple sits on a couch, smiling and gesturing while speaking to a person with a notebook. Warm, casual setting with sunlight streaming in.

If you’re in Akron, OH, and looking for a therapist or marriage counselor, I’d be honored to support you. Together, we can explore the patterns that keep you stuck and practice new ways of relating that bring you closer. Sometimes, having a neutral third party involved can make it easier to practice these steps until they start to feel more natural.

Let’s build the kind of calm, caring, and secure connection you deserve.

With warmth,